“I can't take anymore”, you say, only to discover that you have passed another test of your questionable faith. Faith must be tried and tested to prove itself real. There is no use complaining, you cannot reach the treasure without pressure.
Roger and Faith gave up a secure career in Silicon Valley, sold their home and moved to Rwanda, where they pioneered a ministry to orphans made homeless because of the genocide in 1994. This required courage of a rare sort.
If your concept of God is diminished by your need to be in control, your life will be meager at best. Since I cannot comprehend the greatness of God, I look to His wonders among the stars and planets He created to enlarge my thinking. Look at the universe described in this video and see 'How Big is Your God.'
Faith is not an attribute of self-confidence, nor is it positive thinking; without it life ceased to be an adventure.